Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Fancy Donations

Fancy’s done pretending she’s humble. Thanks for that. Whew.

“Okay, so all that Fancy Clothing on its way to the charity shop, why isn’t it on its way over to me?” asked my pal. She’s one of the 4 Fancy Secret Holders to my identity and the one who got me blogging in the first place. Lucky duck.

“Well, first thing, greedy lady, is that you are 5 inches shorter than me. Which means my skinny clothes would be swimming on you. Plus, wouldn’t that be slightly obnoxious, offering you my rejects?”

This is the part of the Fancy Clean Out that I find awkward. There are literally bags of shoes and clothing heading out the door and onto the backs of some less fortunate. I like that another person will get to benefit from my wardrobe turn around but on the other hand, that is a huge pile of money I’m literally throwing out the door. Wouldn’t it be better to give them to people I know?

But that idea brings its own problems. What do I say? “Oh, here I thought you might like this dress. It might look really good on you. It’s only me that looks like a Tijuana hooker in it.”

Or maybe: “I brought you some beautiful designer trousers. I bet they’ll fit perfectly. Because they are way too big for me.”

And there’s always: “Big bag of expensive clothes here for you. Slightly out of fashion right now but I’m sure they’ll come back in. I just don’t really have the room to hang onto them, what with all my uber-stylish stuff I just bought. Oh yeah, that’s still hip, but ruffles make me look a little whorish. But you can totally pull it off.”

Fancy here just feels funny about it.

But then Nanny #1 saw the pile. “Hey,” she asked, “what can I give you for that sequined vest?”

“Take it!” I exclaimed. “Take anything! You can have it all. I just felt weird offering you my castoffs. But it’s yours. Don’t give me a thing. Just give it a good home.”

“Gosh, thanks!” she replied looking around the room. “But I’ll just take the vest. I really don’t need anything else.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, realizing that Nanny #1’s good fashion sense is the reason I let her dress the Minis in the morning. (Seriously, we had one Nanny who would put them in the most bizarre combos. H walked in one day and said, “Why is the Princess dressed liked your sister?” Snort.)

“But wait, this here, this shirt is one of my favorites. It’s Boss and I love it to death. The only reason I’m giving it away is because of Nanny #2’s uncontrollable need to wash fine clothing. It shrunk. But you’re so tiny, maybe you’d like to try it?”

“Ah, yes, that I’ll take. Thanks!”


Oh by the way, since the theme here is clothing, why don’t we finish off with a Frock It? Here you go. What not to wear to a wedding. What the fuck were the groomsmen wearing? Can you find a tux that would fit a sheep?


  1. I'm happy to say that, after having Frog and spending my entire wardrobe allowance on her, I am a loud and proud walking donation receiver. Of clothes that is. My rich friend, who has the best clothes ever, recently gave me two sackfuls of cast offs. It was like Christmas. Sort of. I look at them as "2010 vintage pieces" to make me feel better about being a total cheap-skate.

  2. For just a second when I looked down at the picture, before finishing the text, I thought what in the holy hell is Fancy wearing in that picture? and why would she give it away rather than burn it? Phew! So glad it was just a misunderstanding!
    Oh and one woman's castoff is another woman's treasure... that goes for men and clothes!

  3. Moomsie, I'm actually sure I wore something similar in a wedding once. And then used it at Halloween...sigh

  4. Okay this is good to know. The good stuff finds a good home. Thanks.

  5. I am guessing the groomsmen had on powder blue tuxes with the white ruffled dinner shirt and matching blue cumerband (yikes is that how you spell that word!!)

    Oh and for sure there was a white or maybe even pale blue carnation in the lapel.

  6. Having had a similar wardrobe reassessment, I shall be spending the Summer mostly naked (having forgotten that it's actually necessary to have the funds to replace the castoffs)

    I'd happily take a Fancy hand out or two but sadly, at almost 6ft even Fancy clothes just wont fit me :(

    Best start praying for warm weather!

  7. Bah ha ha those bridesmaids are hilarious, really channelling their inner Bo Peep. If my friend put me in one of those, our 'friendship' would be quickly terminated!

  8. I have seen many scary bridesmaid dresses but those top the list! Re the clothes, you can only ask if people want to have a rummage and see if anything suits them...if I could get nice, expensive clothes that I'm guessing have little wear and I know where they are coming from I'd say bring it on.

  9. Fancy clothes swap party. They come to you, don't bring their clothes, obviously, but do bring wine. They fight over your pile of lovely items. It's entertaining and everyone gets drunk and gets to take home something. You don't have to, or maybe the PA doesn't have, to drive it to the charity shop?

  10. what lovely shiny dresses, bbaaaaaaa.

  11. I popped over to visit after you had signed up as a follower over with me. It's taken me ages to eventually get round to comment as I keep clicking on your links and having a chuckle.
    Cast-offs are a difficult matter. Thankfully I have a whole host of relatives still back up North who throw themselves on my bin bags of clothes with relish. Everyone's happy!

  12. Oh I would have taken that sequined vest too! I love cast offs, oldest child syndrome, always feel I won the bingo without the wings. In fact I was just about to email a friend who says she was having a good old throw out. re the blue little red riding hood frocks, my friend provided almost those exact same dresses for her bridesmaid..

  13. I'm intrigued about the clothes you're getting rid of! You know what, I wouldn't be insulted if you put the best on here and gave them away to your readers! :0)

  14. I love hand me downs but considering I am the shortest and largest of all my friends that is not likely to happen any time soon! I saw that picture and burst out laughing! They look like Little Bo Peep, where are their sheep? They look like something out of a pantomime, oh dear :(

  15. Hmm I definitely need a fancy friend. I'm not proud - throw those black plastic bags my way.

  16. Okay I get it. Next time round we have a Twitter party with my clothes up for grabs. I'm clear now. Done with paranoia...:-)

  17. Aargh I'm not on Twitter - let me know when you're planning this so I can get set up!!! :0)

  18. While I can see what you mean, as the recipient of a very good friend's hand-me-downs, I say don't worry about it. One of my closest friends has the BEST clothes. She clears them out all the time and thinks nothing of running them by me first(pity we are now on opposite sides of the world) - and I am SOOOO not offended. I'm thrilled, and some of my fave pieces are things she was throwing away. It's a win / win, as she creates more room for beautiful clothes and I get clothes I would never consider buying as they are seriously $$.

    Now to that photo. If a friend makes you wear that, they are not your friend. And the bride can stick that naff parasol.