Friday, 1 July 2011

A Fancy Cleanout

Trying to find new clothes for H has become a fulltime job for me and my Fancy PA. We needed a break. So we hit my closet. And she was brutal.

“This looks cheap. That is old. What are you doing? You are 3 sizes smaller than those trousers, take them off immediately!”

It was wonderfully therapeutic, albeit at times a bit insulting. (Really? I love that dress. I never realized it was my exact skin tone and made me look like a cheetah. Hmmm.) But either way I was having fun.

“What is this? What the heck is going on here? Who did this?!?!”

Fancy PA had found 2 dresses, 2 nightgowns, and a couple of very beautiful designer shirts all folded up and tucked into my T-shirts.

“Oh! I wondered where those had gone!” I cried, clapping my hands at our discovery.

“Does she have any idea what she is doing? I mean, I already had to toss out that beautiful wool shirt she’d washed. But a nightgown with Tshirts? Designer dresses folded into little squares? And who does your ironing? She’s off clothes. Take her off. She can leave the laundry upstairs and I’ll sort it when I get here. This is ridiculous.”

I guess it wasn’t just me that found Nanny #2’s laundry skills slightly lacking.

The good news is that by the time we were finished, there were some serious holes in my Fancy Closet.

H came home and immediately noticed the 75% reduction in my available wardrobe.

“What happened here?”

“Fancy PA and I did a major closet gutting. She was brutal. Really brutal. Anything old or too big has gone to a charity shop. The designer stuff is going on eBay. She’s really awesome.”

“Huh. Well, don’t think this means you get to fill it all back up. This isn’t a license to shop.”

Um yes, darling. That is exactly what it means. Don’t be a moron.

Do you know about Net-a-Porter? They use the same super hot delivery men as their men’s counterpart, Mr. Porter. I look forward to seeing them. Frequently. Life is good. 


  1. Nothing like a wardrobe clear out to inspire a shopping spree. All that space, waiting to be filled....

  2. Now if only someone would look at the stuff in my closet and say: "you are 3 sizes smaller than those trousers"...

  3. Well that is the bit I don't think I made clear enough. I'll post the whole story but yes, I am not used to being a person who can actually squeeze her body into designer clothing any more than I am used to being able to afford it. Which makes H's issues all the more painful. Been there and not terribly long ago. So I actually do need more clothes, as in ones that actually fit my body.

  4. So fancy fab to meet you .... :-).
    Fancy a dinner date?

  5. Pants, socks, wellies and a good pair of overalls - that's all a gal really needs.... [If you repeat this mantra enough times it should sound true...... ]

    BTW my address is Ebay, The Larches, Middle of nowhere. England.... just. Send clothes.

  6. Ah, the closet clearance session, fantastic fun, almost not a chore and could be a kind of therapy. Can't wait to hear what fabulous finds you fill the wardrobe with. Mr Fancy better take a valium in advance of the refill bill.

    MD x

  7. Anxiously waiting the story on how to lose 3 sizes, though I really hope it doesn't involve you being neurotic from too much work cause not even guaranteed weight loss could compel me to do that. In the meantime, enjoy your shopping!!

  8. So an empty wardrobe and I have just noticed Net-a-Porter has a sale...sounds like good enough reasons to shop to me! xx

  9. How clever of you to leave so much space for fresh new things, must try that. Plus upcycling, recycling giving stuff away or whatever its called now is just so green. Good on yo!

  10. See, I'm catching up on my bloggy reading, and I just commented on your post about poor old H and his too-small clothes that you need to go shopping for you! And I was right!!!!! Go on, go shopping, I beg you. I'm living vicariously through your Fancy self.

  11. I think meeting up sounds lovely. Start small my dear. Drinkies? x

  12. My arse is so large that I am having to wear floaty dresses year round now. People think I have a new wardrobe but it's only a tiny section of the old one, worn repeatedly. If I don't actually buy a bigger size, I reckon I'm not actually bigger .

  13. Just FYI, I have had the WORST customer service with Net-a-Porter. The. Worst. Service. Ever. And they could give a crap.

    But they do have some beautiful stuff...

  14. really? I've had the best time with them. But then it is England...

  15. I don't know how I stumbled upon your blog but it's my new fave!!

  16. Wow! thank you for coming to visit, please have a seat and make yourself comfy. Can I get you a drink?