Pages

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Fancy System Glitch


Hi Y'all. Gonna red up that there room and then brush my tooth.

Yes it's really me, Fancy Pants here. Just thought I would alter my diction to match my appearance. Would you like to know what I'm wearing right now? Yes, I thought you would. Shall we start at the bottom?

Red Christmas socks. Above those are cropped terry cloth black "leisure" bottoms. Yes, that is a brown sweatshirt from the now defunct Pop Tart shoppe in New York. Oh, correct. No bra. But do you like my designer eyeglasses? Do they go nicely with last night's makeup and my as-yet-uncombed hair?

Okay, now I know you are all wondering. Has Fancy lost her mind? Is she ill? Has there been a death in the family?

No. Relax. It's worse.

The cleaning lady is sick.

I have company coming over this evening.

It's not pretty. Thank God Nanny #1 has the Minis out for the day and Fancy PA is upstairs addressing Christmas cards.

It's the holidays. No one should be allowed to vomit.

This is all particularly painful because H just finished complaining to Fancy Therapist about my "comfortable" clothes I wear to bed. And apparently to scrub toilets. Good thing he's out of town this week and can't see what's going on here.

Of course, he dresses more "Elmo had 4 ducks" than "Zegna." But still. Being Fancy all the time is simply impossible. And I guarantee his idea of a "maid" costume and the one I'm currently wearing are very, very different.

Okay, back to work. What exactly is the difference between bathroom Cif and kitchen Cif?