Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Insufficiently Fancy

Turns out I suck as a blogger. Which I’m okay with. Because it also turns out I suck at being Fancy.

Yes, I was made painfully aware of that fact this week. By a single email and a short video. That’s all it took.

Some dear friends of ours have twins who turned one this month. The video was of their birthday party. There was a DJ. And cakes with fountains of fire. They’d rented out a room somewhere and guests were shown lounging on sofas, nibbling from canapes, sipping champagne. The boys were dressed in suits, wearing little birthday hats, paraded around by their very proud parents.

Um, that’s not how we did it. I think there was a blueberry muffin involved for one of them. Oh and a bottle or three of wine. I just sort of figured any party was more about me than them, so I didn't make too much of a fuss. Oops. 

And to make it even more clear, just in case I still wasn’t sure how Fancy Folk do kids’ birthdays, I got the email right after we spent the weekend celebrating TC’s 2nd birthday.

She got a homemade cake. Then we took her to the Rainforest Café, where the Princess wept bitterly every time the elephants moved and screamed when Cha Cha the Frog came to visit. TC thought it was great, even if she refused her dinner. Not that I could blame her. What the fuck is a chicken goujon anyway? Is that like a McNugget? Not that she knows what that is anyway. The kid had a veal and parmesan burger the night before. I can hardly blame her for refusing the children’s menu in a place with robotic monkeys. But I digress.

So there you have it. I’ve now seen 4 of the Minis’ birthdays come and go and nary a one featured a fountain of fire. In fact, this birthday I didn’t even buy anything. I mean, for God’s sake we just finished Christmas.

Of course, she still had gifts to open. Fancy PA, the Nannies and the Babysitters all showed up with little wrapped presents. Which made me feel all the crappier about my Fancy Mothering skills.

So there you have it. I am clearly not good at Fancy. At least when it comes to birthday parties. Then again, their only 2, so I’ve got some time to work on it.

It’s just a shame the Minis will be the ones to suffer until I get it right. 


  1. Isn't it up to us, your loyal bloggy audience, to decide if you're crap at blogging? And isn't it up to the Minis to decide if you're crap at mothering?? (Bugger the Fancy bit, darling, you're hell-good at that and you know it)

    As far as I can see, you've got 121 people who think you're an awesome blogger. Probably more, except there's always faithful readers who can't figure out how to "Join this site"...(it's very difficult *snigger*)

    And if you've got two toddlers who can sit at a cafe for more than five minutes? Clearly your mothering skills are doing just fine. But if you're feeling antsy, just wait a few more years until you can ask their respective Fancy therapists. Which I'm sure they won't need, because your parenting rocks. Huh.

    You are Fancy. You are funny. I loves ya. Keep blogging, baby. I need a laugh xxx

  2. Ah Sal, you get me. I loves ya too. x

  3. Sal!!! You STOLE the comment right out of my head! Funnily enough I popped by yesterday FF to tease you out of hiding again but couldn't leave a comment for some reason.

    We ALL love you just the way you are :) xx

  4. Mwahahahaha!!! That's because, my lovely Miss Sarah, you and I share a brain!! Heehee!!! (in addition to the awesome freakiness of - what did the eye guy call it? - strict heterochromia??)
    Now ladies, what we need to do is get my warped Aussie arse over to Pommy land (on the pretext of visiting the Irish relos..., obviously I'd need to stop in London first, right? I mean, a girl needs Top Shop first and foremost...) and we'll get us three together. Unless you want to fly your Fancy bottoms over this way first...

  5. I am literally breaking out in hives at the idea of a bunch of two year olds in suits running around a fountain of fire, are you kidding me?!?! And seriously, who the hell sends around a video of their kids bday parties (other than bloggers, that is), was it a "sorry you weren't there, but look how much FUN we had without you" email? Everyone's doing the big, insane, costs more than a wedding parties, the new cool is understatement Fancy, a pizza and a few balloons, a cake, no icing... Not only are you great at Fancy, you're avant garde.

  6. Don't you know you should be practicing fabulous amazing birthday parties on yourself? Only when you get it right do they get a turn.

  7. Well, then I'm ultra cool...and still have my sanity. I know, toddlers and fire. Who does that?!

  8. You are both hilarious!! What are the birthday parties like down under, I wonder. (ooh that rhymed). Maybe I should go on a scouting expedition...

  9. I don't know about fountains of fire... I think you outfancied them, Fancy. A video sent out by email? Très naf!