Monday, 5 March 2012

Fancy Fires Away

Firing a Nanny sucks.

Am I alone in this? Is there anyone out there who enjoys firing their domestic help? I mean, never mind the quivering lips and the watery eyes (all mine by the way), it’s the thought of searching for a replacement that really brings me to my knees.

It was Nanny #2. I was okay with the Veganism, the gospel television on a Saturday evening, the fact that she allowed them to first dump dry pasta all over my floor and play with it a la Montessori style.

Actually, I even overlooked that she then reportedly cooked the fucking pasta and fed it to my children. 
So all in all, I think I’m a pretty tolerant employer. Which means things had really gotten bad.

We had a chat a couple of weeks ago about the fact that I seemed to be picking up after her, instead of the other way around. And that she was spending the entire day folding the same basket of laundry while watching reality TV. While I was upstairs trying to wrangle the Minis into their clothes and scrub oatmeal off my floor.

It was a classic case of Fancy here not managing her help effectively.

So we had a talk. I really tried to be supportive and gentle. But apparently Nanny #2 can’t accept any feedback that is not glowing. And retaliated by not showing up this weekend because she needed to “gather her thoughts.”

And therein lay the final straw.

Don’t fuck with the Fancy’s Saturday night. Not without a very good reason.

Family emergency? Okay. The flu? It happens.

Thinking? No.

There was surprisingly little argument. I feel good about that. What I don’t feel good about is explaining to the Minis that she’s not coming back. Or about the stack of resumes I’m about to begin wading through.

On the other hand, maybe I’ll no longer be finding the Minis’ socks in my drawer and my silk DVF wrap dresses in the washing machine. This could be a good thing. 


  1. She'd have been out on her thinking arse after the DVF wraps. NO ONE touches my Furstenbergs (not even me since the don't currently fit!

  2. Thank you. You understand in a way not everyone can. :-)

  3. OMG the DVF in the washing machine! Christ Almighty! You showed great restraint Fancy. I admire your ability to be so patient and understanding.

    Problem with looking for new help is that you can't always rely on the reference. What is acceptable in one house may just not work in your house. I suggest asking the worse case scenerio question in an interview. This way you unearth the stories such as, "and can you believe she actually got upset with me when I put her silk DVF dress in the wash?" Yes. Yes I can.

  4. Oh FEM, you hit the nail on the head! Even worse than not asking the right questions is knowing she will only give me the references that are likely to be good. Or even worse, get a friend to pretend to be someone. Ugh. And on top of trustworthiness lies personality. Argh...

  5. 1st of all what the hell is a DMV or DVF?? And Cross the Pond, I'm presuming a Furstenberger is a food or something sexual.... Anhoo, well done you Fancy Pants, she sounded grim. Bet she never even shaved her legs.

    I've heard tell you can get a new nanny if the sprogs write a note and you tear it up and stuff it up the chim-chimeney. Bon chance. I'd come help but I'm busy lambing... ah bless. xx

  6. Hey there, Miss Fancy Pants! I've missed you on Twitter - where have you been? You not using it anymore??? xx

  7. Those pesky house help. Off with their heads!

  8. but who would clean up the mess? x

  9. oh good heavens, I can barely blog. Did you not see the part about missing a Nanny?!?

  10. Ha! We don't have a chimney! Maybe that's my problem! Diane Von Furstenberg. She doesn't hold up well in a chicken coop. So don't bother. xx

  11. Can't you just shut the kids in the cupboard while you catch up with us on t'internet? ;) (Relax, Blog Police - I'm just joking!!!!)