Stylish AND Fancy?

Well now. Apparently someone out there thinks I’m Stylish. She apparently didn’t see me this morning when my attire consisted entirely of Old Navy sweats. No bra. But since I’m not one to disappoint, I rallied this afternoon, hitting the post office in some combination of designer and the Gap, which gives me the desired “she’s clearly Fancy but oh so effortless” look that I continually strive for. Anyway, THANK YOU Mrs. Tuna, for heaping praise on me and awarding me a Stylish Blogger Award.

The rules aren’t terribly difficult. Unless you are me. Let’s see: 1) Thanks and linkage back to my pal. No problem. 2) Share 7 things about myself. Only 7? Fine. I’ll self-edit. 3) Award 15 recently discovered bloggers and 4) contact them and tell them that they, too, are Stylish.

Okay, this is where I stumble. I’m new to this Mummy Blogging world. I have trouble finding time in my Fancy life to talk about myself, let alone go find out what everyone else is doing, although I do try. But sometimes I stumble onto a blog with more than a gazillion followers and I wonder what rock I’ve been living under. How did I survive so many years without knowing about this alternative universe living in my computer? Okay, 15 blogs is probably manageable even for me. But did I recently discover them or are they newly discoverable? Is this like me suddenly announcing that the sky is blue?

So, with all that in mind, I accept my award with grace and humility. And I will list the required blogs and hope that you, my new friends, don’t snicker at my innocence. Of course, if you think I’m missing anyone, by all means, fill me in! But first, pay close attention to the following 7 Fancy Facts:

• I grind my teeth. Especially when I’ve been drinking. But when H complains, I simply retaliate with, “at least I don’t snore! Do you know how hard your heart and lungs are having to work against your redundant soft tissues of you throat? Eat more fruit!”
• I once cried over a bag of marshmallows. I had just graduated university and I went on a diet. Said diet allowed me 2 marshmallows in the afternoon. My sister ate my marshmallows. I was very sad.
• I have 2 herniated discs in my back. And every time I did a round of IVF, my back went out. So add that to my list of infertility pain.
• I played Mary in our school nativity play when I was 6. My mother made my costume. I reused it when I had to play Clara Barton the following year. Just slapped some red tape on my back and suddenly I was the Red Cross.
• My parents bought me liposuction one year for a present. I had an “abnormal area of fatty hypertrophy.” It was a good Christmas.
• I make condiment sandwiches. Because with bread and relish and HP sauce, who needs the added calories of cheese and meat?
• I have one bunion. It’s very small and probably not noticeable to anyone. Except me. 

Oh, Jesus. I just reread all that. I definitely do not sound Fancy or Stylish. God help me. Well, let that be a lesson to you. Fancy is what is on the outside, not on the inside. And there is apparently nothing that a Fancy Therapist, a Fancy Stylist and a Fancy plastic surgeon can’t overcome. Christ.

And here is my list of lovely bloggers. But don't get your panties in a bunch if I didn't name you. Or get annoyed at me that I did. I am a freshman. A bumbling fool, if you will. I like you all!

Scary Mommy

Domestic Diva

Boogers and Blond Moments

Mom of Wild Ones

Notes to Self, Plus Two

Hot Cross Mum

Kate Takes Five

'Cross the Pond

The Meanest Mom

The American Resident

Cherished by Me

Ninja Mom

Very Bored in Catalunya

Suburban Snapshots

Cocktails at Naptime