I am really going for Mother of The Year. I think I’ve nearly got it in the bag. Just look at what I did for my girls this week.
First I went and woke them up. Actually, they were waiting in their cots for their mother, happily playing with their little dolls. This is what happens when you buy have Fancy children. Yes, it's true. A Night Nanny really does make all the difference. If it had been up to me, they'd probably go down at 11 and still be waking up for snacks at 2 am. I'm a softie.
Anyhoo, then they got a breakfast of toasted potato farls and cream cheese. I don’t really know what a farl is since we don’t have them in the States but they seem harmless enough and the girls sure like them. It’s some kind of potato pastry, right? And fruit and milk. How’s that for healthy?
Then there was a bit of playing, a trip to the library and a nice nap. Okay, I’m lying. The Nanny did all that with them. I don’t actually even know what they had for lunch, but I’m sure it was nutritious. But their Mother was the one who hired the Nanny, isn’t she? So it still counts. But what came next is where I really think I’ve got this in the bag. You’re about to witness the making of a hero.
As usual I worked all morning and then headed out to finally mail Kate her Fancy package. I have finally gotten a handle on this project and could at last venture beyond the end of our street. It was on the way home that it happened. I saw a pink Tommy Tippee cup lying on the sidewalk. It looked just like ours. So I picked it up and brought it home, quite proud of myself for having saved yet another sippee cup from becoming homeless. “Damn those Nannies!” I thought, “always losing my kids stuff on the street. Why can’t they just pay more attention to what they are doing?” Oh, Fancy, I don’t know, maybe because they are minding your children? But Fancy guilt isn’t our topic today, is it? Back to being Fancy and Proud.
At least I was proud of myself until I got home and saw both of our Tommy Tippees in the cupboard. Does anyone remember the pacifier event? You would think that a woman who has 4 employees wouldn’t feel the need to pluck plastic off the street and bring it home just in case it belongs to us. It’s a pink plastic cup for God’s sake. Go buy another one, you cheap freak. Now your kids are probably going to be drinking out of a cup that was peed on by a dog because you can’t wrap your head around this Fancy act. I’m not telling H. Or FT. Shhh.
What’s that? Oh, right. No, I did not throw the cup out. It’s a perfectly good cup. That would be wasteful. Dishwashers are practically industrial sterilizers. It gives me a spare for the next time one of the Nannies isn’t paying attention to what TC is tossing out onto the street.
So, do I win? Do I?
