Monday, 11 July 2011

Fancy Condemns



I have decided that I’m too quick to judge. Yes, it’s true. Fancy here is judgmental. Now sometimes it’s probably justified. Like if you are a teenager and your jeans are pulled down under your butt so I have to see your underwear and you have tattoos across your face and an electronic ankle bracelet and it is 2 am when we meet on the street, well, my best guess is that you are not crusading for Christ. But other times I do believe that I’m too quick to make a leap. I don’t always give people the benefit of the doubt they deserve.

Take this weekend. H and I like to take the Minis swimming at our Fancy Gym during “family hours” on the weekends. Nanny #2 had the girls out to the park while I worked out with Fancy Trainer and then I met her back at the house to get the Minis lunch and changed into their suits. Then we were to head back to the gym to meet H as he finished his Fancy Trainer session. (Yes! I know!!!!!)

As the girls were eating I headed upstairs to find my swimsuit. Last I’d seen it, my Fancy yet modest one piece (my favourite for toddler pool time) was hanging in my upstairs bathroom. Yet, when I went to get it, it had vanished!

“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered. “That woman can’t control herself, can she? What the hell has she done with my suit? A million bucks says it’s in the laundry. It’s a fucking swimsuit. It doesn’t need washing. Even worse, I bet she threw it in the machine. All that beading. Whoosh. Gone. That suit cost £200. Fuck me. That’s it. She’s off laundry. I swear to God…”

“Nanny #2!” I hollered down the stairs, trying my best to stay calm and friendly. “Do you happen to know where my bathing suit is? The black one that was hanging over the tub?”

“Yes! I put it in the drawer with your other suits. You know, the top left one,” she called, oblivious to my furious rant of 15 seconds earlier.

Ah yes. And what do you know. There it was.

Hmmm. 

13 comments:

  1. We all have a completely unjustified rant every now and then. At least you managed to keep yours to yourself. x

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  2. I like to share mine with the whole family, especially the husband but I am nice like that.

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  3. Well going by past behaviour I think you had every right Frau!

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  4. Hahahahaha! I have done the same thing - but with Fen at the helm. We common folk don't have an assortment of household help.

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  5. oh yes. Though it would be the Husband I would be ranting at and being a mean old cow I probably wouldn't say sorry either!

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  6. I am so quick to do the same exact thing...when something is missing around here I totally blame it on the housekeeper. Of course I'll never say anything to her aloud, I simply am pissed off in my own head. And usually I find whatever I'm looking for hours later, in a place that I probably put it in the first place.

    I am also guilty!! And wait, a 200 pound swimsuit? That must be one stunning work of art!

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  7. I thought a major part of having help was having someone to blame for stuff we do and then forget about. And you didn't even need to apologize!

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  8. Ah yes, that is why I hire help. So H has someone else to blame. Forgot that
    I can too. :-) x

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  9. I only popped over because I thought the title said Fancy Condoms...
    Anyway your not the only one to judge quickly - my first thought would be 'she's nicked it hasn't she?' The shame.

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  10. Wish I had Nanny No 2 to blame. Be a nice change for my hubs. Could I blame her for stuff too? She'd never know...I live in California...

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  11. Ha, I read this too fast and thought it said Fancy "Condoms". Oops, my bad.

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  12. ha ha!!!! what now you won't visit me unless there are prophylactics involved?! x

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