Dear Nanny #1 (The Weekdays)
Thank you so much for your dedication and enthusiasm. I know we don’t live in a terribly swanky neighbourhood and it’s hard to find other nannies to hang out with. I’m sure that one day that will change. But for now, thank you for taking to heart my suggestion that you find activities with other children in our neighbourhood so that my children can socialize. But honestly, breastfeeding class is probably not the best choice. You can skip that one next week. But good try!
Dear Nanny #2 (The Nights)
Thank you for being so normal and intelligent. That is a rare thing when it comes to hired help, especially when it comes to baby nurses and night nannies. Not having any kind of personal life can make a person behave oddly, so thanks. And thank you for standing quietly in the doorframe that night, saying nothing while I attempted to sleep train my screaming children. And thank you even more for still saying nothing when I said I couldn’t take this shit any more, needed some booze and left them in your care. Thank you.
Dear Nanny #3 (The Weekends)
Thank you for folding my shirts into tiny little squares and color organizing my closet. And I’m so glad that there is someone in the world who honestly believes it is beautiful to watch my children throw cotton balls at each other for an hour and then want to spend another hour telling me about this beautiful event. I’m not that person, but I’m glad my girls have someone in their lives who is. You are wonderfully caring and kind. And pretty soon I’ll have you knowing the difference between my clothes and my husbands. I'm not remotely offended. I know you'll get it. Hang in there.