Yes, I’m real and I’m Fancy

I’m a member of the British Mummy Bloggers! I feel completely validated. I’m a joiner. Always wanted to be in the cool group in high school but always sat just on the edge. I was on the Science Olympiad team, not the Homecoming Court. Sigh. Now that I’m a Fancy adult with degrees and titles and accomplishments to my name, I’m less bothered by what others think of me but it’s still nice to be invited into “The Club.”

Joining this group wasn’t so easy, however. I registered for membership and then waited. And waited. And then I got a phone call. I have only one friend who knows that I’m behind this blog and if she blows my cover, I blow hers, so I’m not worried about that. But she is a Super Blogger in the world of blogging and “in the know” with the blogging community. She called this week in hysterics. BMB wanted to know if she knew me and if I was a real person. Apparently there are a lot of people who think blogging is akin to creative writing and just make stuff up. But I can assure you that I am 1) very real, 2) very Fancy, and 3) could NEVER make this stuff up.

Example?

Went to a wine tasting recently in a rather upscale restaurant in central London. Between tasting and eating we were ushered out into the reception area for champagne and nibblies.

As I’m standing there, one hand clutching a lobster canapé, the other a glass of bubbles, I look around the room and realize I’m standing next to a giant (we’re talking 5 foot tall) gold gorilla skull. And if that weren’t frightening enough, he had a full mouth of rhinestone encrusted teeth. Who would create something like that? The bigger question may be who would buy it? And the even bigger question is, “Why was I the only person staring at this monstrosity with horror?” Well I know the answer to that: all the other Fancy people at the event were too busy being Fancy to notice a 5-foot gold gorilla with a grill. (Gold Gorilla with a Grill. I like that. I'm gonna start a band.)

So yes there really is a restaurant with a giant shiny simian noggin in its bar. And yes, I really do have to search my home for my own things because other people pick up after me. Yes, I take photos of my children in the First Class lounges at airports. And yes, my nannies hang out together and probably talk about me.

And no, you CANNOT make this stuff up. Because no one would believe it.