10 Fancy Rules

My pal Moomser apparently doesn’t have enough on her plate, what with kids, a sick husband and traffic in Italy. (That’s a story: hey H, would you rather feed and bathe the children and police them in this hotel or return the rental car in central Rome? Yes, that was Fancy, screeching around the Colosseum, swear words flying.) No, the woman also wants to take on a new meme. 10 things she’d like her children to know.

I’m not sure I can stop at 10. I mean I have to, so I will. But  the Minis have years and years of listening to their mother’s rants about the world, human nature and British Telecom ahead of them. But a quick 10? To warm up? Alrighty I’ll try.

1)   Money isn’t everything. It’s a nice thing to have but it also creates a different set of burdens and worries. People without enough of it have problems that you can’t understand. But don’t make all your big decisions in life based on it.

2)   Having money doesn’t make you better than other people. Working your hardest in school, always doing your best, realizing your dreams and being nice to people along the way? Well, that does.

3)   Don’t count on an inheritance. That’s not really our financial priority.

4)   Don’t be a snob. People hate snobs. Sometimes the best vacation is camping and McDonald’s can hit the spot. Just because something costs more money doesn’t make it better. 

5)   He’s just not that into you. If he is, you’ll know it.

6)   The man you want in life is kind, smart and funny. He is  hard working and has goals. But be very careful if he consistently confuses the words “goal” and “money.” 

7)   Speaking of your future man, they kind of man you want isn’t looking for a well-tanned beach bum without an education or personal accomplishments. At least not for the long term.

8)   You never know who will have your back and who will stab it. Except for your family. We always have your back. Be kind to us.

9)   On the same token, you never know who will be there for you when you really need them, so treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect. Unless they work for BT. They will never be there for you so don’t worry about it.

10)  Vodka. Not gin.  

I am exhausted. Here we are still working on “don’t touch Mommy’s Mings!” and I’ve gone all deeply philosophical about character and personal qualities and good martinis. Knackered. Must go rub my face in my cashmeres and recharge.