Monday, 16 May 2011

Fancy Potty Mouth



If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times. A good Nanny is worth her weight in gold. I just can’t emphasize it enough. From potty training to finding swimming lessons to emptying the diaper pail, finding someone with intelligence, experience and motivation is a challenge but worth it on every level. Other qualities I think are important? Well, organization is one. Basic first aid knowledge obviously. And then there is the element of creativity that can’t be ignored. Example?

Fancy has a potty mouth. I know you don’t believe that. Fancy’s mouth is not exactly Fancy. Well, at a business dinner when she’s playing “Corporate Wife,” it’s controlled, articulate and deferential. But 3 am in the Minis’ room, trying to find a lost dummy under a cot? Um, not so much.

So the little Fancies are talking up a storm. And The Princess has turned into a little parrot. Everything from “Sushi” to “Tacky” is pouring out of her mouth. Which means, of course, that she is also repeating words learned at less refined moments of her day. Such as at 3 am, when her mother is crawling under her bed looking for the dummy she tossed overboard.

And this is where a good Nanny again proves her worth.

“It’s okay! I’ll tell people she’s saying, ‘Fork!’”

See?

27 comments:

  1. Give that Nanny a raise! We have had the odd pearler dropped by the Farmchildren too...

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  2. Ha ha ha!! Priceless, that is....

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  3. Brilliant! You've found a good one there. :D

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  4. Fork off... is clearly fork has fallen off the table.

    Fork you.... is obviously, would you like a fork?

    Forking hell.... ouch, I've jabbed myself with my fork

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  5. Fork it ... to be eaten with a fork

    For forks sake .... if only I had a fork

    Forking thing ... It could be a fork but then again, it might be a knife or even a spoon.

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  6. My 4 year old says it to me when she's feeling especially brave and naughty. I wear my shame like a badge of honour.

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  7. Ha ha. Little parrots they are indeed.
    I remember walking around the supermarket moaning that the pathetic shop didn't have what I wanted in stock and Tabatha trying to copy me. Lets just say "Pathetic" sounded more like "fork it" and got me some very dodgy looks!

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  8. LOL, love this. The moral of the story is : have 2 back up dummys in the Fancy bedside cabinet...!

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  9. One of the hardest things about having children is trying to watch your language. Actually it's not one of the hardest things at all. It's an incovenience though.

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  10. Fork, that was funny! and now I know how to answer the constant :"whatchoo sayin mommy?" Thanks Fancy, your blog is a mighty resource for mothers everywhere!

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  11. My girlfriend's kid used to yell COCK! when she was talking about any "ch" sound from "chocolate" to "chalk." So much fun at the grocery store.

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  12. I just tell everyone that they obviously picked up that foul language at the grocery store. I mean you have no control over who your children are exposed to in there.

    *I don't really think anyone is buying it*

    I was a nanny once - give her a raise!

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  13. Discrete nursery workers are useful as well. I arrived at nursery one day to collect my daughter and the nursery worker took me to one side and in a low voice said 'I think you ought to know, when we saw you pull up your daughter rushed to the window and said "It's the F***ing Car!"' I turned bright red. 'Oops,' is all I managed to say.

    Later that day I began schooling her very seriously that it was 'The Funny Car' not 'The F***ing Car that never started when it should'. Silly, silly Funny Car. And from then on it was called the Funny Car.

    It was only recently (she's 13 now) that she asked me why we called it the Funny Car and so I told her. She thought it was hilarious of course. I found it an interesting experiment in guided memory!

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  14. Ha ha - waiting to here what the other words are passed off as now...

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  16. love it. "fork." great post!

    my two boys had never heard a (hardcore) swear word drop from my lips (oh, they've seen me peeved and pissed, but i'll use creative vocab there, you know, to teach the value of language). but at a recent and heated family gathering, my sis and i got into it in the backyard, and on the drive home, my oldest (12) said, "dad, you must've been really made at aunt steph." he had been standing off to the side listening to the entire conversation.

    now they know that i know how to use the word "fork" as an adverb in its gerund form!

    btw, found you via lou from arches at the larches!

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  17. LOL! Fantastic! My middle child, who is now three, is my biggest parrot although his sister, now 22 months, is going to give him a run for his money. She came in the room and announced "I shit!" and proceeded to hand me a diaper. We're working on which words Mommy says that you can't say and potty training too (which is making me curse more, but that's a whole different story). Great post (& nanny)!!

    p.s. My husband is over in the UK for 10 days or so...if you see an especially happy american man who looks free of domestic duties and three kids, please tell him I said "Fork you." : )

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  18. Oh yeah, she's a keeper. Also? Nothing makes you appreciate a good nanny more, than the experience of a bad one.

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  19. LOL! Fantastic! My middle child, who is now three, is my biggest parrot although his sister, now 22 months, is going to give him a run for his money. She came in the room and announced "I shit!" and proceeded to hand me a diaper. We're working on which words Mommy says that you can't say and potty training too (which is making me curse more, but that's a whole different story). Great post (& nanny)!!

    p.s. My husband is over in the UK for 10 days or so...if you see an especially happy american man who looks free of domestic duties and three kids, please tell him I said "Fork you." : )

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  20. love it. "fork." great post!

    my two boys had never heard a (hardcore) swear word drop from my lips (oh, they've seen me peeved and pissed, but i'll use creative vocab there, you know, to teach the value of language). but at a recent and heated family gathering, my sis and i got into it in the backyard, and on the drive home, my oldest (12) said, "dad, you must've been really made at aunt steph." he had been standing off to the side listening to the entire conversation.

    now they know that i know how to use the word "fork" as an adverb in its gerund form!

    btw, found you via lou from arches at the larches!

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  21. Fork it ... to be eaten with a fork

    For forks sake .... if only I had a fork

    Forking thing ... It could be a fork but then again, it might be a knife or even a spoon.

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  22. Brilliant! You've found a good one there. :D

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  23. Ha ha ha!! Priceless, that is....

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