Wednesday, 11 May 2011

UnFancy Combinations

Once again, Kate has hit a Fancy bullseye. I love walking around criticizing pretty much everything. "Can you believe she's actually wearing a bow in her hair and is past puberty. Crikey." Or "Really? Artichokes and Chardonnay? Seriously?" So "Bad Combinations" is right up my alley, don't you think? I think we could actually make this a weekly meme. I didn't know where to start or end. But for today's entry, here we go.

One group is trying to do exactly as you say, the other is attempting the opposite. It doesn’t work.

Full make up/ Therapy sessions
I once thought about making a line of cosmetics that don’t run while crying. Do you know how difficult it is to have an effective Fancy Therapy session before you are meeting H at a business dinner? I’m all about letting it out and knowing that my face might fall off stunts my emotional growth.

Red wine/ Dating
I actually used to carry these little tooth wipes in my purse when I was single. On our first date, H and I actually consumed 4 bottles of red wine. (I know, that is truly horrifying. In my defense, that was over several hours. I know. Quiet.) I had to keep nipping off to the loo to wipe my lips and teeth clean.

Vegetarians/ Dinner at the Fancy House
I’m not sure what offends them more: the side of beef on the Fancy Grill, the cowhide d├ęcor or the poster depicting various cuts of pork hanging in the kitchen. It’s not like we don’t offer vegetables too but somehow it just doesn’t seem to work.

Live animals/ formal wear
Fancy here has no problem wearing animals that have gone to the great animal kingdom in the sky. It’s only fair since I have no problem eating them. And so long as they have already made the journey. And their identifying parts such as faces, claws and teeth have been removed. But wearing an animal that is still moving. Still breathing? Is licking my ear? That’s where I draw the line. And I do believe this also qualifies now as a Frock It entry. Efficiency Rocks! Meet Rachel Weisz's 2004 Esquire cover frock. I hope she didn't catch a chill. Or get envenomated.


  1. You are such a funny chick! Love the concept of reptiles as evening wear.

    Not super good at catering for vegetarians on The Farm either.

  2. 4 bottles of wine \ first date - it was obviously meant to be..That's quite a varied list there - I applaud your diversity.

  3. Why would you want to not show your bits off by covering them with a snake? Call me boring, I prefer M&S.

  4. What a great list - and yes, so efficient.

    People do wear snakeskin, so why not take it further and just wear the snake? A snake as a dress. That is a Frock It first (well everything is a FI first at the moment).

    Love it!! x

  5. How come RW can wear JUST A SNAKE and still look totally stunning? When I wear my boa constrictor down the supermarket people run from me with fear and loathing in their eyes. I presume it's because of my wobbly thighs.

  6. Do you think she thought it would be a feather boa? Ps. artichokes and Chardonnay. Never knew that.

  7. Wait - artichokes and chardonnay? Bad? Really? Huh. I heart both so this makes me sad.
    Anyway. Love the list. Red wine/dating - hysterical. Live animals/formal wear - scary. Nannies/grandmas - SO TRUE.

    JD at

  8. As usual you made me smile, this was a great set of Bad Combinations! I love the tooth wipes story. The lengths we go to...

  9. Wow - that snake totally got to 3rd base with her. And red wine - agreed. I have many an embarrassing photo to corroborate this.

  10. What a fine fancy wife you are not to want to have red lips and teeth like a vampire.

  11. Nanny's and Grandmas sound like a bad combination! I didn't know there was such a thing as a toothwipe!

  12. So as a vegetarian I probably won't be invited over for dinner??

    And the nanny/grandma thing? I learned this the hard way when my nanny quit on me. With no notice. I'm still pissed off and it's been 4 years!

  13. Wow - that snake totally got to 3rd base with her. And red wine - agreed. I have many an embarrassing photo to corroborate this.