Fancy Destinations

I think Fancy here has some work to do. If anyone can tell me how, in Blogger, to allow myself to comment on your comments, that would be lovely. I could then hire someone to fix that right up for me. But until then:

Moomser! 10 days is what we’re taking. Then we’re coming home and H and I are off for another vacation without children. Yes. Or at least Fancy here is taking another vacation without children. Whether H makes the trip, well that remains to be seen. The problem with going away for any longer is that it upsets my carefully balanced Fancy Life. The Minis have to miss art class, music class, Gymboree, group picnics and whatever other awesome shit Nanny #1 has planned. H would have a Heart Attack if I travelled with more than one Nanny, so guess who is working weekend and nights when we’re off on holiday? Yes, that is right. Fancy is. And what about my Fancy Trainer or my Fancy Colourist? They’d be neglected. And then there is FT! Can’t rely on hotel Internet when it comes to Fancy Therapy Videochats!

So, you see, my life is just too Fancy for a 3 week holiday. Too many people depend on me for their incomes. It’s a big responsibility. Can’t just dash off to the beach for a month…

But if I could! Well, now, Kate Takes 5 is asking us where in the world we’d like to go.  So for Fancy’s turn at this week’s Listography, I bring you Five Fancy Fantasy Travels. Yes, I can afford to go anywhere, which means this list is really, really a Fancy Fantasy.

• Antarctica. I would love to go all the way to the South Pole. But it will never happen. Our friends went and apparently you have to get on a boat and spend several days wrapped in waterproof Eskimo gear, pitching to and fro as the ship captain—to whom you have entrusted your life—attempts to avoid icebergs and whales and giant storms. H saw their holiday photos and just snorted. No. That’s definitely not in my future.

• The Bronx. I lived in New York for years. But we were the sort of people who left Manhattan by jet plane. (Which technically means I had to get to Queens.) Once a year we were obligated to visit friends in Brooklyn. I visited Harlem once by accident when I got on the wrong subway. But The Bronx, never got there. I’d just like to see it once. 

• Camping. Anywhere. Like with a tent. Bathing in a creek. Drinking beer and cooking over an open flame. Just for a couple days. It would bring back so many childhood memories. I brought it up once and H replied, “Are you shitting me? Sleep in the dirt? If I leave my shoes outside the tent will some wild animal make sure they are spit shined for me by morning? No way. No.”

• African Safari. Maybe someday. But for now I’m to be content with DisneyWorld’s Animal Kingdom where, apparently, monkeys won’t “sneak into our tent and steal our wallets.”

• And finally, Sesame Street. I want to meet fabulous celebrities while my children are entertained by Elmo. For real. Not just in my living room every evening, like we do now. I mean, I feel so close to Beyonce and Ricky and Norah now, having them in my home twice a day, every day, day in and day out…

So there you have it. Places you probably won’t be seeing Frau Fancy. Although a girl can always dream….