I’ve been trying to come up with a list of 7 Fancy Facts you don’t know about me. But it’s not so easy. First Moomser awarded me the Versatile Blogger, which demands these 7 fascinating insights into my Fancy Self. Then Team O’Toole tagged me with The Lovely Blogger. And I’m seriously scratching my head. Because you guys already see well beyond the Fancy Front that most of my friends, family and colleagues. I already share practically everything with you. Like pouring urine on my kitchen floor, finding oranges in my hoover closet and practically all my Fancy Therapy sessions. But if I must dig deep…
Seven Fancy Things You Didn’t Know About Frau Fancy
- Fancy once flew across an ocean for sex. That sounds really dirty, but we were on a Clomid cycle and it had to be done. It wasn’t really very dirty. More perfunctory. Dinner after was really more of a highlight.
- I know you already know this, but for those who don’t: Fancy loves Donny Osmond. He’s just one of the most talented entertainers ever born. Like a white Michael Jackson who didn’t become crazy. And with a voice like an angel.
- Fancy here can recite—off the top of her head—the numbers to 3 credit cards, including expiration and security code. Comes in handy both when paying for something over the phone/on the Internet or when H steals my wallet (for what purpose I ask?!) and doesn’t put it back, leaving us in an awkward position when the bill comes.
- I hate Winnie the Pooh. Because when Fancy was 4, she was invited to go see Donny and Marie and her parents said no. As a consolation prize my father took me to the movies and guess what was playing? And ever since then I can’t help but think of Winnie as the big dumb yellow bear who robbed me of my first face-to-face with The Donster. Thank goodness I grew up and can now afford to fly wherever whenever to catch a concert.
- I’ve broken 4 bones in my lifetime (thus far anyway): foot, elbow, shoulder blade and rib. That is an odd combination of fractures and none of them occurred at the same time. The most exciting tale involved a staircase in South America. The most boring happened when I just lost my balance and fell over. Literally just fell down. So UnFancy.
- Domestic Diva recently posted an awesome story about her exploding bra. Fancy here once spotted the insert to her Wonderbra on the dance floor of a bar. Oops. But I’m guessing that everyone mistook my breast reshaping for just another Fancy dance move. Because I’m that good.
- Fancy here apparently has “two of the most challenging” eyebrows on Planet Earth. If I don’t forewarn the beautician it’s almost a guarantee that 5 minutes into the shaping I hear a soft breath and then a quiet “Oh.” So I have to be careful about who gets near my face with tweezers/wax/thread. Otherwise I look sort of sad yet surprised. It’s just my curse.
