What the hell? The summer is over? I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. I’m still waiting to wear all the cute summery outfits I bought. I haven’t made a dent in my sunscreen collection and that includes a weekend in the sun. What? Oh, sorry. I need to quickly explain something to my fellow Londoners. Hang on.
The “Sun” is a big yellow thing in the sky. It provides a gravitational force that makes the Earth spin around in a big circle. That much I’m sure you know. But just in case you didn’t realize it, the Sun also provides warmth. Yes, it’s true. Even sunshine. I know, close your mouth. See in some parts of the world, summer is actually when you can wake up everyday knowing that shorts and a tank top will suffice. There are even people who put their winter wardrobes away for 6 months. Totally crazy, right? Anyway, let’s go back and join the others.
Okay, sorry for the interruption. Anyhoo, I’m a bit caught off guard this week. Kate Takes 5 has made “Things I Did This Summer” her Listography for the week. And when I saw that, well I did a bit of a double take. I wasn’t aware that summer had ever arrived. But being plucky like I am, I’ll pull out my calendar and tell you what I did over the last 3 months, although I will continue to violently protest that I did not actually experience this phenomenon called “Summer.”
- Got married. Okay technically that is a lie. But I found myself a wife, in the form of Fancy PA. Just as you can love all your children, I love both my husband and my wife. Truly. Deeply. I do.
- Went to CyberMummy. And met some nice ladies. But I’m still looking for Lou the chicken lady. Anyone see a nice looking, albeit somewhat harried, woman covered in feathers calling for her rooster, you let me know.
- Suffered Bank Holiday Hell. For those who don’t know, that’s an unbelievably popular British past time of watching women suffer while their Nannies enjoy a day off. I know, as disgusting as snacking on goat’s blood.
- Taught the Minis to swear like sailors. Let’s be clear, this was not actually my intention. Blame all those bank holidays. But TC is now saying, “Fork” a lot. It’s a satisfying word, isn’t it? The Princess has mastered, “Bucket,” and “Bap!” Unless I clean up my act, I’m expecting full sentences by Christmas. “Roly Sucking Bell!”
- Said a final farewell to my favourite airline. That’s right. You know the one. Excuse me while I get a tissue to wipe my eyes. I don't even need to link up here. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back a few posts. Or just consider yourself lucky to have missed it.
And that’s it, apparently. Looking forward to even worse weather as we edge through Fall. At least I’ll have a new closet soon. At least that's what they are telling me. And that’s definitely something to look forward to.
I want a PA. Do you lend her out? Can I have your winter wardrobe too? In fact, screw it, can I just come and live with you? I'm toilet-trained.
ReplyDeleteSorry FF but I have to correct you here.
ReplyDeleteFall is where the trees turn beautiful colours and the days are crisp and cold with clear blue skys.
What you and I have to look forward to is Autumn. pouring rain, howling gales and dark depressing evenings. Sorry :( x
eek my bad! Gosh thanks for setting me straight! And making me go look for the vodka.
ReplyDeleteWell, toilet trained is appealing. That would give you a leg up on the majority of folk living here...although H has been doing really well lately. :-)
ReplyDeleteIf I could move to London I wouldn't care if I didn't see the sun for an entire year. Let's switch places. Please?
ReplyDeletedone. But I'm keeping the Nannies, Fancy PA and my Fancy Trainer. Is that okay? Room for everyone?
ReplyDeleteOf course you may now experience the phenomenon that is known as the 'Indian Summer' which means that all that sunshine that you didn't see for the past 3 months arrives in Sept \ Oct. However there's a very good reason that it's called an 'Indian' summer... And no, I've never seen one either.
ReplyDeleteI want a PA, I only have a husband, it doesnt compare....
ReplyDeleteDon't despair, summer isn't actually over for another two weeks, who knows what could happen to the weather in that time (who am I kidding, you live in the gloom capital of Europe), I don't suppose y'all get Indian summer over there do ya?
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you it truly does but your loss is my gain. Bring on that sunshine I say.
ReplyDeleteYour Aussie warm packed away all the winter (long sleeved tee) gear for 6 months friend.
I recall the sun from my youth...a vague memory. What a busy year. How hellish it must be to please both a husband and a wife. I hope you buy her jewelry.
ReplyDeleteHi Fancy, wondering... can you add the "follow by email" gadget so that new posts can get delivered to our inbox! You brighten my day whenever I click to find there's a new post and it'd be so great to have them just pop in on their own.
ReplyDeleteI'll be teaching my kids those innovative new phrases, all the more fancier as they've floated across the pond. Unfortunately they already know the originals of all of above.
ReplyDeleteoh it's so hard to stop!!! the things we do...
ReplyDeleteOh I could do with a wife.They must be better than a a husband surely? My kids used swear like sailors too.Clock was cock, breakfast was fuckfast and biscuit was big shit.
ReplyDeleteha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteBucking funny as ever Frau Fancy. Am also gutted that summer has gone. Got my toes out earlier. They went purple.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I think the first words in this house may be along the lines of "fork" or "sucking bell". Or it could even be "rollocks". I really need to stop swearing now F is starting to copy sounds.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, glad you're getting a new wardrobe (that's what we call it here by the way - what the hell is a "closet"?!) - yet again I'm insanely jealous. Our wardrobe is a cheapy wooden framed Argos one. I know, you'd be sick in your mouth if you saw it. Take a picture of yours when it arrives so I can look longingly at it and pretend it's mine.