Friday, 1 April 2011

Fancy Drinkies



So last night was the BMB Twitter Party/Wine-tasting. I really wanted to go. I mean stay home. I mean sit at my computer and Twitter. I got as far as two posts. I don’t even know if anyone saw them. But I just wanted to give both an explanation and my excuse for such a pathetic performance.

Problem 1: I can’t Twitter. I seem to be seriously handicapped when it comes to Tweeting. I don’t really understand the whole process. Who sees me? Why does anyone give a shit? Am I supposed to post links, random thoughts, real-time updates? Every time I wipe my kid’s nose or eat a piece of candy, well, is that Twitterable?  And who has time to work, mother, manage the help, blog, read everyone else’s blog and watch the Twitter Tweets like it’s a stock exchange ticker tape? It seems exhausting.

And as for these little conversations within Tweets. @ so and so. Am I supposed to see that? Or is that like listening to two women talking in a dressing room about sex while trying on swimsuits and I’m in the next cubicle wishing they made Spankx bikinis?

Last night was even more confusing than all that. There was a BMB wine tasting group. But was I supposed to sign up for it? Was there like a dial-in that I didn’t know about?

Okay, so my technical inabilities aside, there was also Problem 2: H.

“What the hell’s a ‘Twitter party?’” he asked.

“It’s part of my work, honey, it’s for work.” (I call blogging “work” so that he’ll leave me alone. You have to learn to speak their language, you know.) I was in the kitchen tossing back some Sancerre and roasting salmon. “So because it’s work, I need to get my computer back for a minute once dinner is almost ready.” (And I do remind you here that we currently have 4 other computers in the house and an iPad, but my computer is the one he must run to after he gets home.)

“That doesn’t sound like work. It sounds stupid.”

“Okay, but can I have my computer?”

Big sigh. “Here.”

Two seconds into my pathetic attempt at Twittering: “I’m hungry.”

“One minute.”

“I’m tired.”

“Hang on.”

“Feeeed me.”

And he broke me. Trying to attend a Twitter Party with H sitting next to me is about as feasible as taking a nap on the floor with my children in the room while covered in M&M’s and flashing lights. He's just a giant, overgrown toddler incapable of entertaining himself for 14 seconds.

So anyway, there you go. If someone could be so kind as to explain the Twitter issue to me and then plan the next party to coincide with one of H’s business trips, that would be grand. But as for me, enjoyed that Sancerre. Crisp and mineralic. Paired well with the salmon. So good I even let H have a glass. It was my bottle you know. I don’t have to share everything.

13 comments:

  1. Mmmmm - jealous of the Sancerre. Think I would have failed the Twitter party also.

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  2. I'm terrible at Twitter also. Apparently there are "lists" so you can sort people, but I really don't get it. I've tried, but it just doesn't seem to be working for me....Facebook on the other hand, I love...

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  3. People seem to fall into either FB or Twitter but rarely both. I'm a Twitter addict. I love it - whereas I don't get Facebook at all. Never been part of a Twitter party though - not so sure about that. People have different reasons for tweeting. I do it because it saves me talking to myself! Pass the Sancerre will you....

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  4. It seems that you got the best part of the twitter party/wine tasting down with the sancerre, n'est pas?

    Also, and sorry for writing this in your comments, but couldn't find an email anywhere; thanks for following me, Moomser Baby, but unfortunately I'm shutting that blog down and I can't move followers myself, so if you have the time and the patience (and the desire to, of course) could you follow me at http://www.moomser.blogspot.com.
    THANKS
    p.s. I'm not trying to publicize my blog on yours, promise, so if you want to delete this comment, no problem!!

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  5. A twitter party. That is a new one to me. I am with you. I don't understand Twitter either.

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  6. You're on twitter? Now why didn't you tell me that. Address please. I promise to act as your (not very qualified) guide.

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  7. Sancerre is my favourite (not including Champagne). Pass it my way please. I use Twitter and Facebook, but still learning the whole tweeting thing. Apparently Tweetdeck helps. (If you have either the time or inclination to download it).

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  8. It's a dark day for your personal life in the real world when you finally get Twitter. Remember how time seemed to evaporate when you first got an iphone/ipad or got the blogging bug? It's that feeling to the power of infinity. I had to stop tweeting and return to real life. I'm all or nothing type of girl though, so if you have normal behaviour traits you might be fine with it ;-)

    MD xx

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  9. PS If you are serious, Tweetdeck is the only way to make sense of it all.

    MD

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  10. Don't tell anyone, but I don't really get Twitter either. Ssshhhh.

    I asked a friend, who's quite popular on Twitter and she said it's called newWORKing for a reason. You have to make it WORK!

    Good luck. xx

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  11. Ummmmmm.....you were cooking your own fancy dinner?

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  12. I'm arriving very unfashionably late to this conversation (as is my custom on twitter :) to say that I couldn't agree more, on all of the above counts.

    I am a total doofus tweeter (twatter?). I have tried; I am lost. But your post gives me an idea - perhaps I should try mixing twitter and some serious wine tasting...a little drunk-logic might help me to understand it, or at least amuse anyone watching.

    Till then, just nice to know I'm not alone in being a twitphobe.
    ~M

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  13. Ummmmmm.....you were cooking your own fancy dinner?

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